Trigger Warning: Before I get started, I just want to issue a quick trigger warning. This post talks about Mother’s day, pregnancy, and pregnancy loss. If that’s something you are not in a place to handle right now, I hope you’ll take care of yourself and if you need to skip this post, I totally understand!
This Sunday, I’ll be celebrating my very first Mother’s Day with my sweet baby girl, and if I’m being honest, it’s all a bit surreal to me. The last three years have been quite the journey to get here. After our first pregnancy loss in the fall of 2019 and our second in the spring of 2020, I was left feeling like I had no right to celebrate Mother’s day for the last few years. While it did feel a little weird to me to celebrate the day, I hated feeling like I couldn’t even acknowledge the babies we lost. Luckily, Zach talked some sense into me and told me that we could do whatever I wanted and needed in order to feel at peace with the day. I wouldn’t say we “celebrated” the day per-se, but we did acknowledge it. He also got me flowers and made me feel so loved that day. I tell you, he is such a light in my life.
It wasn’t until last year that everything changed. I was SUPER pregnant with Caroline on Mother’s day. I was experiencing all of the wonderful joys that come at 38 weeks pregnant and I decided that We. Were. Celebrating. I had some people tell me that it “didn’t count yet” and that I’d have to wait until this year to celebrate the day. It felt like a punch to the gut, but Zach once again stepped in and assured me that my feelings were valid and we celebrated together. My family was also incredibly supportive and wished me a Happy Mother’s day, which made me feel so loved.
Fast forward to 2022 and it’s the first time I get to celebrate with one of my children, and it still hasn’t hit me yet. All I can think is that the day feels like it’s more about her than me, and that brings me SO much joy. Do any of you other mamas relate to that?? It’s just that nothing makes me happier than when I hear her call me “mama” and I truly cannot wait to spend the day with her. I can’t wait to watch her discover new things in the world around her (she is SO curious), to hear her infectious giggles echo throughout the house (BEST sound in the world), and to snuggle with her on the couch while we watch her favorite show. We’ve been truly blessed with such an amazing and beautiful little girl. Our journey to parenthood was a tough one, but now that we are soon celebrating our girls’ first year (seriously, HOW did that happen so fast?!), it just feels like an entirely new experience. My heart is just full, and I cannot wait to finally have a mother’s day with my little girl.
Before I go, I just want to say: Happy Mother’s Day to all the wonderful mamas out there! To the mothers, grandmothers, mothers-to-be, IVF mamas waiting on their miracle, bereaved mothers, adoptive mothers, mothers with angels in heaven, and anyone else who is *definitely* a mama but feels like they’re not yet able to celebrate Mother’s day – Happy Mother’s Day to you. And here’s your reminder that YOU celebrate the day however you need. Don’t let anyone else tell you that you can’t or that something “doesn’t count.” You are all mothers no matter where you are in your journey and you deserve to be celebrated!!